


(Almost) 100 Ways to Say "I Love You"

by Exterminatorviolence



Category: National Football League RPF
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Vignettes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-07
Updated: 2019-01-07
Packaged: 2019-10-06 07:06:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17340854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Exterminatorviolence/pseuds/Exterminatorviolence
Summary: Almost 100 little vignettes about all the different ways Julian has told Danny he loves him throughout their life.





	(Almost) 100 Ways to Say "I Love You"

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rnrcircus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rnrcircus/gifts).



> I'm baaaack kinda. I actually only wrote 58, couldn't think of little vignettes for every single way which you can find [here](http://p0ck3tf0x.tumblr.com/post/98502010026/one-hundred-ways-to-say-i-love-you). 
> 
> AU where they grew up together, went to the same high school, college, and then diverges into a mostly accurate timeline of their careers and how they deal with it all. 
> 
> Hope, you give me strength to write four words every other day<3

Can I kiss you?/Can I hold your hand?/Wow (June, 2002)  


They were walking home from school for the last time until September. It was hot and their hands kept brushing against each other as they walked. Danny was already talking about summer reading projects like the nerd he was, and Julian enjoyed listening to him talk.  


A red light made them stop before crossing the street. The sun made Danny's hair look almost auburn. His eyes made Julian weak in the knees. 

They had been dancing around whatever they were for half a month. Ever since he gave Danny that little clay fox he made in art class.

Julian licked his lips. Danny looked at him. "What?" Danny asked. 

"Can I kiss you?" 

"What?"

Julian swallowed his nervousness and asked again. "Can I kiss you?" 

Red crept up the back of Danny's neck. "Okay." 

He barely finished it before Julian pulled Danny down and crushed their lips together. Danny tasted like mint gum and there were fireworks that exploded behind his eyelids. It was his first kiss but he knew it wasn't Danny's and he hoped that the other was seeing fireworks too. Once his lungs started burning for air, he pulled back. 

The light was green but neither moved to cross the street. They were too busy staring at each other like they were seeing each other for the first time. And maybe they were.

"Wow," Julian murmured, the words almost floating between them. "Can I, um." He wasn't sure why he was so nervous to ask this; not after he just kissed Danny. "Can I hold your hand?" 

Danny breathed out a quiet laugh. "You just kissed me, I think it's safe to say that you can hold my hand." 

Julian did; grabbed Danny's hand into his own and thought,  _nothing has ever felt more right._

  


No, no, it's my treat (June, 2002)  


They're first date didn't even feel like a first date. It felt like every other time they've hung out. Only now, Julian could reach over and hold Danny's hand and no one would think anything of it. Well, the waitress still gave them a weird look, but neither of them cared.

Nothing was awkward or weird. None of those first date questions or putting on a face to try and impress. They already knew each other, and all those flaws and quirks people tried to hide on first dates didn't matter.

Danny tried to pay, but Julian beat him to it. 

"No, no, it's my treat," he said, slapping at Danny's hand when it reached for the bill. 

"Fine," Danny relented but he didn't sound happy about it. "I'm paying next time." 

Julian beamed at him.  _Next time_. 

  


Here, drink this. You'll feel better/Happy birthday (November, 2002)  


It was Danny's birthday and, by stroke of luck, Julian's parents were out of town. He managed to secure a bottle of vodka, a small gift for Danny. 

Julian thought he drank a lot, but he had nothing on what Danny managed to down. Underage and drunk, they didn't manage much more than making out in Julian's bed before they both started to pass out. 

When morning rolled around, Julian woke up before Danny who hadn't moved at all. He still had an arm slung over the brunette's waist. 

He carefully climbed out of bed, stumbling. He was a little nauseous, had a pounding headache, and he couldn't imagine how Danny was going to feel when he woke up. He stumbled into the kitchen, filled up a glass with water and downed it with some painkillers. 

He filled the glass up again for Danny who he could already hear stirring from his room. His headache was already starting to lessen as he walked back to his room. Danny had burrowed himself completely under the covers, probably trying to block out all the light. 

He walked softly to the side of the bed. "Hey," he said gently, nearly whispering.

Danny pulled the covers down just below his eyed. "I'm going to die." He sounded like he might.

Julian smiled and helped him sit up. "Here." He handed him the glass and painkillers. "Take these, you'll feel better."

Danny eyed them warily but took them, drinking all the water. "Come back and sleep," he begged, setting the empty glass on Julian's night stand. "Please?"

"Whatever the birthday boy wants," he teased. He burrowed under the covers with Danny and held him close. "Happy birthday."

  


I'll wait/I don't mind (February, 2003)  


Danny greeted Julian with a kiss at his locker. "Hey, so I've gotta stay late with Mr. Jackson so I can take the history test I missed," he said. "I'll see you later tonight though?" 

Julian closed his locker. "I can stay if you want." 

"You don't need to. It's gonna take, like, half an hour." Danny shrugged. "You'll be bored."

He laughed. "Really, I don't mind. I'll wait." He shrugged his backpack on. "It'll give me a chance to start some homework." 

Danny bit his lower lip, tried not to let a smile slip through. "Okay. Thanks." 

Julian smiled at him because he thought it was funny that he would do anything else  _but_ wait for Danny. He'd always wait for him no matter what. 

  


Drive safely/Call me when you get home (April, 2003)  


It was raining. It was rare rare for rain in California but it rarely ever poured down in sheets like it was now. There was a lot of wind too and it made Julian nervous. He kind of wanted to ask Danny not to leave, to just wait until the wait passed before he left. 

"I'll be fine," Danny assured him, slipping his sneakers on. "I've driven in rain before, Jules," he pointed out.

It didn't assure him too much. "It's  _pouring_ though." 

Danny rolled his eyes. "I'll be fine," he repeated. "It's not even that far."

"Still..."

Danny sighed and shrugged his coat on. He walked over to Julian. "Jules." 

He groaned, smiling. "Fine." He leaned up slightly to give Danny a kiss. "Drive safely," he cautioned. He added, before Danny left, "Call me when you get home."

Danny's smile was soft. "Of course."

  


I brought you an umbrella/We can share (April, 2003)  


They had to walk to school because Danny had gotten in trouble and had his car privileges revoked for the week. It was raining out, just enough to need an umbrella to avoid getting soaked. He rank Danny's doorbell and waited. 

"I brought you an umbrella," Julian said when the door opened.

"Did you bring one for yourself?" Danny asked with a raised eyebrow. 

He shrugged. He hadn't brought himself an umbrella. "Guess we can share then." He smirked and stepped closer, holding the umbrella out slightly for Danny to get under. 

Danny smiled and stepped under the umbrella. They stood close enough for Julian to wrap his other arm around Danny and slipped his hand into his back pocket. 

  


Have a good day at work (June, 2003)  


Danny's first job was at DVD rental store. Julian visited him a lot, standing behind the counter and keeping him entertained when there weren't customers present. It was great because Danny had money and a  _car_ and Julian's parents let him stay out later.

The only bad thing was that sometimes Danny had to leave too early for Julian's liking, cutting their dates or hangouts short, and Julian couldn't always go with him to work; things like homework or babysitting keeping him away.

"Have a good day a work," he said when Danny had to leave, holding his keys out for him, only giving them over once he received a kiss.

Danny rolled his eyes but always gave him a kiss as he answered, "I will."

  


The key is under the mat (December, 2003)  


He hadn't left his bed in three days, the flu rendered him basically useless. Danny had texted him earlier that he was coming over after school and was bringing notes and soup. 

His phone ringing woke him up and he took it out from under his pillow, flipping it open. 

"Hello?"

"Hey, I'm here. Your door is locked. Could you come and, like, unlock it for me?" Danny's voice crackled over the line. 

Julian laughed and then coughed. "I'm not coming to get the door, so use the key." 

"Where's the key?" Danny asked. 

He stifled a yawn. "It's under the mat. You can just leave it on the table when you come in." 

"Alright. Are you sure you're supposed to just tell people where your spare key is?" Danny asked.

"It's  _you_ ," he answered. "My throat hurts, I'm hanging up." He hung up and could hear the front door opening. He smiled and closed his eyes. It was Danny; it was weirder that he didn't know where the spare key was sooner.

  


Stay there, I'm coming to get you/It's okay. I couldn't sleep anyway (April, 2004)

Julian was woken up by his phone buzzing on his nightstand. He flipped it open without looking, eyes still closed. "'Lo?" 

"Jules?"

The voice had him blinking away and sitting up. "Danny? What's wrong?"

"I didn't mean to wake you up," Danny said quietly. 

Julian rolled his eyes fondly. "It's okay. I couldn't sleep anyway," he lied. He knew it would make the other feel better. "Why're you calling at -" He glanced at his clock. "- two in the morning?"

"I was at the party," Danny answered, voice still quiet. "It got busted by cops so I ran. Only, I don't know where I am and I'm drunk."

Oh yeah. The party. Julian hadn't wanted to go but he told Danny that he should go and have fun anyway. 

"Stay there." He was already pulling on pants, phone cradled between his ear and his shoulder. "I'm coming to get you."

  


Pull over. Let me drive for awhile (August, 2004)  


They drove to Kent State; Julian didn't want to pay money for plane tickets plus everything that would've needed to be shipped from California. So, they drove, switching places every so often and trying to get there as quickly as possible. 

The sun was fading behind the horizon quickly and Julian noticed Danny's eyelids starting to droop.

"Hey," he said, nudging Danny gently. "Pull over. Let me drive for a while."

Danny smiled at him gratefully and pulled over at the next stop. They switched seats and the brunette was out like a light before Julian even merged back onto the freeway.

  


I'll help you study (October, 2005)  


Julian watched as Danny glared down at his textbook. 

"Are you doing okay?" he asked. 

Danny huffed. "No. I don't get what any of this even is." 

He moved and leaned over Danny's shoulder to look. "You're majoring in Communications, why do you need to take algebra?" 

"I don't know," Danny groaned. He looked up at Julian imploringly. "What does any of this even mean?" His paper was a mess of numbers and letters, scribbles and large sections crossed out.

He sighed at the brunette fondly. "I'll help you study."

Danny smiled at him, grateful.

  


I'll pick it up after work (February, 2006)   


Julian didn't get his first job until college, and even then it was just at one of the campuses bookstores for barely ten hours a week. But the bookstore liked to boast about how their quarterback was working at their bookstore and they overpaid him and let Danny hang around during his shift, so Julian didn't complain. 

He reluctantly pulled away from Danny's arms and stood from their couch. "I gotta go, babe." 

Danny pouted at him but let him go. "Fine." He sat up. "I have to get my notes from Lena anyway." He let out a long sigh. "I really don't want to."

Julian chuckled and laid a kiss in his hair. "I'll pick 'em up after work," he promised. 

"Thank you," Danny said, face lighting up with a smile. He tipped his head up slightly, and Julian bent down to give him a proper kiss.

  


Come here. Let me fix it (February, 2007)  


Julian had watched Danny fiddle with his laptop for twenty minutes. Apparently the screen was frozen and it wouldn't let Danny shut it down. Julian thought it was kind of funny watching him struggle. 

"Come here," Julian finally said, reaching a hand out for Danny's laptop. "Let me fix it. You're hopeless."

Danny grumbled, held out his laptop, and crossed his arms once Julian took it. "It's a piece of shit. I need a new one anyway."

"With what money?" Julian teased, pressing a few keys and watching in satisfaction as the screen went black. 

Danny collapsed onto the couch next to him. "I don't know. Maybe I'll just steal one." 

He laughed and booted the laptop up in safe mode. "Stop downloading so much porn and getting viruses."

Danny's face went red. "I'm not downloading porn!" he sputtered. "I just keep trying to download free PDF textbooks. Normal textbooks are so expensive," he complained. 

Julian hummed. “Mhm.” He found the .exe files that shouldn’t have been there and deleted them. “There.” He restarted the laptop and gave it back to Danny. “There shouldn’t be any other bad files. Just...stop downloading things from random sites, please,” He begged.

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll stop,” Danny grumbled. He set the laptop down and leant his body onto Julian’s. “Thank you.”  


“Don’t thank me, it’s what good boyfriends do,” Julian responded.  


  


I bought you a ticket (September, 2008)  


“Come on, please?” Julian asked, looking at Danny with big eyes. “I know I probably won’t even be out there but it’d mean a lot if you were there in the stands,” he explained. 

Danny shrugged a little helplessly. “I...It’s Saturday, I wouldn’t even be able to get in tomorrow.”  


Julian pulled out the ticket he had in his pocket, hoping that by having it, it might persuade the brunette. “I bought you a ticket. Well, I got a free ticket but it’s for you nonetheless. Please?”  


Danny sighed, taking the offered ticket. “Yes, alright, I’ll be there,” he answered.  


“Will you wear my jersey?” he asked teasingly.  


Danny shoved him away, laughing.  


  


You can borrow mine/Take my jacket, it's cold outside/Take mine (November, 2008)  


Danny had a bad habit of not taking a coat when they went out, even though he was always cold by the end of the day. Philadelphia was cold and the people there were either really nice or huge assholes. Julian felt bad that he was a little relieved that the Eagles cut Danny halfway through the season. 

He flew out on a well placed bye week when he got the news. They were on the, surprisingly empty, subway after a day of just walking around and trying to lift Danny’s spirits a little bit.  Danny was shivering next to him. He shrugged out of his jacket.  


“You can borrow mine,” He said, handing the jacket to the brunette.  


Danny denied it like he always did at first, “No, I’m fine.”  


He rolled his eyes and pushed the jacket into Danny’s lap. “It’s cold out, take mine.”  


Danny did, albeit reluctantly, and put it on. It looked good on him, but everything tended to look good on him.  


  


I'm sorry. I didn't mean it/You're important too (January, 2009)  


Their first really big fight came after the playoff loss. The loss stung and made Julian more determined to get better, but the fight the morning after was a whole other thing. 

“You want to  _ what _ ?” Danny had asked - demanded really - through gritted teeth.  


Maybe the morning wasn’t the best time to tell Danny he wanted to buy a house out in California for the off season so he could be there if Tom ever wanted to practice. “I wanna buy a house. I have the money.”  


“The money’s not the issue; the issue is that you want to go out to California. Am I supposed to stay here?” Danny asked, arms crossed over his bare chest.  


Julian shook his head. “I want you to come with me obviously.”  


“I don’t think Tom Brady would want me around,” Danny said quietly, not looking at him.  


He rolled his eyes. “You’re upset if you have to stay, but you don’t wanna come with me? I don’t know what you want, Danny.”  


Danny’s jaw clenched. “I want to be able to spend the off season with my boyfriend and, I dunno, train or something.” He shrugged a shoulder and looked away. “Whatever.”  


Julian sighed. “We can train together in California,” he pointed out. “I just...what if Tom needs someone to throw to? It could help me move up on the depth chart and -”  


“I get it!” Danny shouted. “Alright? I fucking get it.” He still wasn’t looking at Julian. “It’s fine. Go buy a fucking house.”  


Julian could tell it wasn’t fine. “What’s your  _ problem _ ?” he asked, exasperated. “I  _ want  _ you to come with me.”  


“Come with you and have to watch as you keep an ear out for your phone in case Tom Brady calls?” Danny asked sarcastically. “You won’t even notice I’m not there.”  


Irritation started to bubble up in Julian. “Maybe if you came with me it’d get you some exposure to teams,” he said.  


Danny shook his head. “I don’t want to go if that’s all you’re going to be focused on...I’d like your attention for a little while before you have to go back to OTAs and training camp.”  


"Well maybe that's why you keep ending up on practice squads," he spat. "Because you can't commit." He knew he shouldn't have said it, knew it as soon as it left his mouth, but he was just so angry.  


Danny's face crumpled and his jaw clenched. "Buy a fucking house," he said, voice trembling. "I don't fucking care." He turned away and went back to their bedroom.  


Julian swallowed thickly, heart sinking into his chest. "Danny..." he called, knowing he'd be ignored. He shook his head and cleared the table, trying to clear his mind as well. He knew that going to California would move him up on that roster, get him a special teams spot maybe, but he knew that doing it would put distance between him and Danny that had never been there before.  


He walked slowly to their bedroom, knocking on the door. "Dola," he called softly. "Can I come in?" When he didn't get an answer, he opened the door and walked in cautiously. Danny was laying in their bed, back to him. "Danny," he said, sitting next to him. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it."  


"Didn't you?" Was the muffled response he got.  


"No. I didn't," he repeated. "You commit, sometimes too much. You're still with my dumb ass, aren't you?" he teased. "This...it's important to me, but you're important to me too. I'm not gonna buy a house if it means I have to lose you."  


Danny turned in the bed to look at him; his eyes were red. "You should go to California."  


"You should come with me," Julian said. "I think you'll like it. Besides, it's not like I'm at the top of Tom's receivers list."  


"You should be," Danny said, smiling softly. “I’ll come with you.”  


Julian beamed and kissed him breathless, wondering how he got so lucky.  


  


Call me if you need anything/Do you want me to come too?/Good luck/I believe in you (August, 2009)

Danny had a try out with St. Louis. It hadn’t sunk in that Danny might end up miles and miles away from Julian. Hadn’t sunk in until now; stood in the airport with Danny’s flight being called to board.

“Do you want me to come too?” Julian asked. “I can beg out of OTAs.”  


Danny smiled. “No. I’m not gonna cost you a roster spot.”  


He sighed. “I...good luck. It’s not like you’re gonna need it. Call me if you need anything, alright?” He took a deep breath. “I believe in you,” he said seriously, wanting Danny to know he meant it.  


Danny blinked a him and smiled a tiny smile that made Julian’s heart skip. He rolled his eyes fondly. “Yes,  _ mom _ ,” he teased. “Now kiss me before I have to leave.” And, well, Julian had never been able to deny his boyfriend anything.  


  


It reminded me of you (October, 2009)  


The first season they were both active was...rough. They didn’t get to see each other nearly at all and it killed Julian a little bit inside. Of course he was happy that Danny was finally an active player on an actual roster like he deserved to be, but he did miss being able to see the brunette after games when he lived with him in Boston.

He was in Tampa Bay when he saw it; a small cactus made out of wood, small enough to fit in the palm of his hand. It was the only one on the small table and when he asked the worker if there were any more, she had shaken her head. It was completely random and completely pointless, but he bought it because it reminded him of Danny. Don’t ask him  _ why  _ or  _ how,  _ he didn’t know. Maybe it was because it was the only one in the world and maybe Danny will feel nice having something only  _ he  _ has; the same was Julian felt about having Danny.  


Julian used his few-and-far-between days off and flew out to St. Louis to see Danny on his bye week, before the Rams needed to fly out for Detroit. He gave Danny the cactus figurine wrapped up in a small bag.  


Danny laughed, surprised, and opened the gift. “You didn’t have to buy me anything.” He took out the figurine and smiled at it, a soft small smile.  


Julian shrugged a shoulder. “It reminded me of you.”  


“Thank you,” Danny said, sounding sincere. “I’m gonna keep it in my locker.” He sets it down on the table and then pulled Julian close, pressing them together. “Now show me how much you’ve missed me.”  


  


I'll still be here when you're ready/I want you to be happy (April, 2010)  


In the spring of 2010, Danny and Julian had more or less broken up. It was never said that they should and neither of them claimed to want to go on a break, but when Julian saw Danny leave at the airport, he knew he wouldn’t be flying to St. Louis on his bye week that season.

It had gone like this:  


Danny was packing his bags up to fly back to St. Louis before organized team activities started. He had been quiet the past couple of days and Julian knew it was because of the upcoming months they’d be apart.  


“Are you okay?” Julian asked, watching and pretending that his own heart wasn’t hurting. “I don’t want the last time I see you before the season to be you brooding,” he tried to joke. It fell flat.  


Danny stopped packing and sighed. “Sorry. I’m not...I hate this.”  


Julian crossed his legs on the bed and pulled Danny to sit next to him. “What do you hate?”  


“This.” Danny gestured to the room. “Seeing you and having your attention for four months out of twelve. I hate trying to schedule meetups during our bye weeks and hoping each year that our schedule might throw us together.”  


Julian’s heart was beating too fast for all the wrong reasons. “What’re you saying?”  


“I don’t know.”  


He turned to face Danny fully. “I want you to be happy.” He took Danny’s hands into his own. “I’ll still be here when you’re ready.”  


Danny shook his head. “I  _ am  _ happy with you, that’s the problem. I want to be near you all the time. It’s like I don’t know how to exist without you,” He said it like a confession, voice barely above a whisper. He looked like he was waiting for Julian to respond, but Julian didn’t know how to.  


“I don’t know,” Danny repeated. “Maybe we should just…” He trailed off.  


Julian nodded, swallowing hard. “Okay,” he said, unwilling to voice what he already knew. “Okay.”  


And then Danny was off on an airplane and Julian had his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his jeans and he wondered about the next time he’d be able to hold Danny again - if he’d ever be able to hold Danny again.  


But he said he’d wait and that’s what he was going to do. He would wait his whole life if that’s what it took.  


  


I dreamt about you last night (July, 2011)  


Julian stared down at his phone for hours. Stared at the blinking line taunting him to type out the words  _ I dreamt about you last night _ . He didn’t - he  _ couldn’t _ . Not when Danny hadn’t even tried to contact him after the season ended and Julian wasn’t about to try to contact Danny when he obviously wanted to be left alone. 

  


He shook his head and opened up Twitter to post a picture, scrolled through his phone until he found one that was discreet enough for the public not to realize he was with a guy but specific enough to where, if Danny saw it, he’d know it was about him. 

__ @Edelman11  
_ I dreamt about you last night  
_ _ pic.twitter.com/2Omy9ZyuK _

He hit  _ tweet _ before he could change his mind and then closed the app and shut his phone off, tossing it onto Danny’s side of the bed before getting up to get ready for practice. He’d think about it later.  


  


I was in the neighborhood (October, 2012)   


The next time that Julian saw Danny in person was three days before Halloween two years later during a game where the Patriots blew out the Rams. It was weird seeing Danny again. Julian could’ve sworn that he had memorized everything about the other, but seeing him again, he realized, even from across the field, the warmth of his eyes and the hesitant smile were even more brilliant than he remembered.

It hurt more than he thought it would. It hurt because it felt like they were strangers.  


And maybe showing up uninvited would be rude and Julian said he’d wait until Danny came back to him, but to hear that voice and to see those eyes up close one last time...he couldn’t  _ not _ go see him after the game.  


“Julian?” Danny’s voice was the same timber voice that he remembered. “What are you doing here?”  


It wasn’t quite the response that Julian was hoping for, but he tried not to let disappointment settle in his gut. “I was in the neighborhood. Thought I’d say hi before I left.” He shrugged. “I can go if it’s not a good time -”  


“No,” Danny cut him off. “You’re...it’s not a bad time. You can come in.” The place looked different, furniture moved around and pictures of them taken down. Julian didn’t know what he expected.  


“I’ve missed you,” Julian said, voice quiet, unsure if he was allowed to say that now. He wasn’t looking at Danny, scared that he’d see someone he didn’t recognize.  


He felt Danny move around him, let him lead him to the couch. Their legs brushed. “I’ve missed you too.”  


Julian couldn’t say who moved first, but he’ll say it was Danny in the future; Danny who grabbed him by the collar of his jacket and pulled him into a kiss. Kissing him was the same and god, how he missed it.  


  


You didn't have to ask/I'll see you later/Two sugars, right? (October, 2012)  


Julian still knew how to work everything in Danny’s kitchen and he was standing in front of the coffee machine fully dressed apart from his jacket. He yawned and wished he didn’t have to leave in fifteen minutes. 

Arms wrap around him from behind and Danny rests his head on his shoulder. “Hey, you.”  


“Hey yourself,” Julian murmured, smiling. “Two sugars, right?” He asked even though he knew it was.  


“Yeah.” Danny took the coffee and sipped at it, smiling at Julian. It was quiet for a few minutes and then Danny said, “You didn’t have to wait for me. That wasn’t something I could ask.”  


Julian shook his head. “You didn’t have to ask. I knew I’d wait for you - I’d still wait for you.” He shrugged his coat on and slipped his shoes on. “Um, I guess I’ll see you…” He trailed off. He didn’t know when he’d see Danny again.  


“When the season ends,” Danny finished. “I’ll see you when the season ends.”  


He smiled and kissed Danny again before reaching for the door. “I’ll see you later.”  


“Later.”  


  


I'll pick you up at the airport/It's not heavy. I'm stronger than I look (June, 2013)

It was a date that Julian had been looking forward to for a month; the date when Danny’s plane finally  _ finally  _ landed at Boston airport. Danny had called him the night before saying, “I can take a cab to your place or something.”

And he had laughed. “Don’t be an idiot. I’ll pick you up at the airport.”  


It had gotten quiet and then, “Alright.” Danny sounded like he was smiling.  


Julian was smiling too. “I can’t wait to see you. I’ve missed you.” 

“I’ve missed you too,” Danny’s voice crackled over the line. “I’ve gotta keep packing, but uh, I’ll see you tomorrow.”  


He nodded even though it couldn’t be seen through the phone. “Tomorrow. Yeah.” Then, “Wait, you haven’t finished packing yet?”  


“I’m almost done!” Danny argued. “It’s just...a few more things. Don’t worry about it.”  


Julian said he wouldn’t, but he still did a little bit.  


Danny’s flight got in late the next night and Julian stood waiting with his hands in his pockets, reminding him of all those years ago when he watched Danny’s flight leave. He sighed, pushing the thought away. He watched as people emerged from the tunnel, eyes searching for Danny. They lit up when he found the face he’s missed so much.  


“Dola,” he breathed, smiling wide when their eyes locked.  


“Julian!” Danny shouted, dropping his bag and running up to him, nearly tackling him in a hug. “Oh my god, I’ve missed you so much.” His hands clutched the back of Julian’s leather jacket.  


Julian clung back just as hard. “I’ve missed you too, Danny, so much.” He pulled back and smiled. “Let’s grab your stuff.”  


They made their way to the baggage claim, holding hands. Julian couldn’t believe that Danny was there. It almost didn’t feel real; like at any time he would wake up and Danny would be back in St. Louis.  


“I can grab it,” Danny said, reaching for the bag when Julian hoisted it up onto his shoulder.  


Julian shrugged. “It’s not heavy, I’m stronger than I look,” He said with a wink.  


Danny rolled his eyes, but Julian could see the smile pulling up his lips.  


  


It brings out your eyes/It looks good on you (August, 2013)  


Julian was awestruck the first time he saw Danny in a Patriots uniform. “It looks good on you. It brings out your eyes.”

Danny rolled his eyes, but he was smiling nonetheless. “Shut up. It does not.” His cheeks were pink. “Anyway, my eyes are brown, I don’t think  _ anything  _ brings them out.”  


Julian smiled. “Lies. Navy blue totally does bring them out.” He tugged his gloves on. “You’re gonna look even better running around on the field.”  


By that point, Danny’s face was red. It was probably one of Julian’s favorite looks on him.  


  


Have fun/you can do this (January, 2013)  


Julian can tell Danny was nervous; can see it in the way he bounced his leg in the locker room and in the way he smiled too wide and too often.

“You’re gonna be great,” Julian said. “Don’t be so nervous.”  


Danny stopped bouncing his leg. “I’m not nervous,” He denied.  


Julian sighed, moved closer to the other. “It’s just like any other game.”  


“Don’t even lie, it is not like every other game. It’s a  _ playoff _ game. I didn’t think I’d ever be here,” Danny admitted.  


“Well now you are.” He moved closer to the brunette. “Don’t overthink it, yeah? Just do what you do every game and have fun.”  


Danny smiled and, that time, it looked genuine. “Yeah, okay. Okay. I can do this.”  


“You can do this.” Julian smiled and dragged him into a kiss. “You’re gonna be great.”

  


Go back to sleep (January, 2014)  


Julian’s phone went off at 5:30 am. He groped around for it to shut the alarm off and carefully extracted himself from Danny. They had just flown in to Houston and didn’t need to be up and at the stadium until noon but Julian had to get something down before that. 

“Jules…?” Danny’s sleepy voice called.  


Julian yawned and reached a hand down to card his fingers through Danny’s hair. “Shush, go back to sleep, I’ll be right back.”  


Danny rubbed at his eyes. “Where’re you going?”  


“Just gotta make a call,” he answered, pushing Danny down when he tried to sit up.  


“At five in the morning?”  


“It’s to express ship something - just go back to sleep,” he said again, watching as Danny laid back, his breathing evening out quickly. He chuckled as he left the room, holding his phone up to his ear.  


  


I did the dishes/Sit down, I'll get it (September, 2017)  


Danny still couldn’t spend more than ten minutes on his phone or half an hour watching TV if the brightness was low. Julian could hear him grumbling about it from the kitchen. He dried off his hands and sauntered into the living room where Danny was on the couch, turning off the TV. 

“This is fucking bullshit,” Danny grumbled, tossing the remote next to him.  


“This is having a concussion,” Julian said back, walking slowly to the couch and sitting down next to Danny.  


“Whatever.” Danny rolled his eyes, cuddling up against Julian. “Where were you?”  


“Kitchen. I did the dishes,” he answered, curling an arm around Danny’s shoulders.  


Danny hummed in response. “Phone?” he requested, moving to get up sluggishly.  


Julian pushed him back down. “Sit down, I’ll get it,” he insisted, pressing a kiss to the brunette’s forehead.  


“Mm, okay. Thanks, babe,” Danny called as Julian went to retrieve his phone.  


  


We'll figure it out/I'll do it for you/Don't cry (March, 2018)  


Julian knew what it was like to have someone he cared about leave New England for a different team. It happened when Wes had left for Denver in 2011. It had hurt, but it couldn’t hold a candle to how he felt when Danny left for Miami in 2018. 

Playing with Danny on the same team was electric. It was everything that Julian had dreamed about since he was a kid, and they went on and won the Super Bowl.  _ Twice _ .  


Danny was leaving and it was so much worse than when Wes left because Wes was a mentor; Danny was his  _ partner _ . He wished that Danny could’ve stayed because he didn’t know how he was going to function with him that far away in Florida. He wished that New England would pay Danny the money that he deserved. More than anything, he wished he knew what to do.  


Danny had been tense all day. He kept apologizing over and over for taking the position in Miami and Julian had to keep telling him to stop apologizing and that he deserved the contract he was getting.  


“What’re we going to do?” Danny asked. He had tears in his eyes and he wasn’t looking at Julian. “Last time I played somewhere else…” He trailed off. They both knew what happened last time, they didn’t need to say it.  


“I don’t know,” Julian said honestly, wiping away a tear with his thumb. “Don’t cry,” He begged. “We’ll see each other twice a season. We’ll figure something out, we always do.”  


Danny gave him a half smile. “You’re willing to figure all this out again?”  


And of course he was; they’d been together for most of their lives and Julian would be damned if he let something like the  _ Miami fucking Dolphins _ break them up. “Of course I am,” He answered. “Because it’s you. I’ll do it for you. For us.”  


Danny fully smiled this time and leaned onto Julian, burying his face in the blonde’s chest. They wouldn’t have many more of these nights, so Julian tried to memorize everything about Danny before he was gone for a second time.  


  


Don't worry about me/Cross my heart and hope to die (July, 2018)  


They were standing in the airport, Danny with his suitcase next to him. Julian felt deja vu from  2009.

“Are you going to be okay?” Danny asked for the hundredth time. It was sweet, though.  


“Yes,  _ mom _ ,” Julian repeated the answer from all those years ago, smiling.  


Danny smiled back, but then his face softened back into the concerned look. “Seriously though, don’t forget to take care of yourself.”  


Julian put his hands on Danny’s shoulders, squeezing gently. “I’m going to be fine. Don’t worry about me.  _ I  _ should be the one concerned about you.”  


“Nah.” Danny shook his head. “This isn’t my first time going to a new team.” He pressed a kiss to Julian’s lips. “Promise me though,” He said. “Promise me that you’ll be okay and that you’ll take care of yourself.”  


“Cross my heart and hope to die,” Julian responded, crossing his fingers over his heart. “Promise me that you won’t fall for another receiver in Miami.”    


Danny rolled his eyes. “Like I’ve fallen for anyone other than you since we were teenagers.”  


The flight started boarding and Danny looked at him sadly. “I’ll see you week four?”  


Julian pursed his lips and nodded. “Yeah, week 4. Wouldn’t miss it for anything.” He put a hand on the back of Danny’s neck before he could turn towards the tunnel and pulled him in for a kiss - their last kiss until October. He tried to map out everything about Danny, the same way he did in 2010 when they broke up, and knew it’d be hopeless. “I’m gonna miss you,” He said afterwards, quiet and strained.  


Danny smiled sadly. “I’m gonna miss you too.” And then he was in the tunnel and Julian stared after him with his hands shoved in his pockets. He felt deja vu again, this time for the worst.  


  


I was just thinking about you/Stay over (September, 2018)  


Julian wasn’t doing much - couldn’t do much with the suspension still looming over his head. The only upside to the weekend was that Danny was coming over. Danny who he hadn’t seen since July except for hasty FaceTime calls and short snapchat videos. 

His phone went off a second before the door opened and Danny walked in, tossing his road bag to the ground like he did in college before throwing himself onto Julian’s lap.  


“I missed you,” Danny cooed. “Missed you so much...worse than when we first started.”  


Julian grunted from the weight but wrapped his arms around Danny’s waist, smiling. “Was just thinking about you, about how much I missed you too,” he admitted, pressing a kiss to Danny’s lips. “Where are you staying?”  


“Hotel near the stadium.” Danny shrugged. “Gonna be weird playing tomorrow,” he said, frowning.  


Julian frowned back. “I’m sorry I’m not gonna be there.”  


Danny shook his head. “Wouldn’t change the weirdness...I know you’re not gonna be rooting for the Dolphins,” he joked. He leaned in to kiss Julian again. “I can’t stay for very long,” he said regretfully.  


“Stay over,” Julian said. “You can leave early tomorrow morning. Just stay over, I’ve missed you sleeping in our bed,” he explained a little sadly.  


Danny looked dubious about it at first, probably weighing the pros and cons, before sighing softly and nodding. “I’m probably gonna catch shit for it but sure but I  _ have  _ to leave early,” he said, looking sternly at Julian.  


“Alright, alright,” Julian relented, chuckling. “And I know we can’t really do anything,” he added before Danny could say anything else. “Come over after the game though?” he asked, raising his eyebrows suggestively.  


Danny laughed, rolled his eyes, and kissed Julian. “Sure.”  


  


__It can wait until tomorrow/I picked these for you/I hope you like it/I love you (July, 2019)  


Julian thought about doing it out somewhere, maybe at a restaurant or a beach but none of the places felt right. It was how he ended up palming the box in his pocket, knowing now, sat on the pier looking at the sunset, that despite the picturesque scene, it wasn’t  _ right _ . 

“What’s up with you?” Danny asked, glancing sideways at him. “You’ve been kinda quiet. Not jawing my ear off like usual.”  


Julian frowned. “I don’t jaw your ear off,” he protested, chuckling and taking his hand out of his pocket. “And nothing.”  


Danny narrowed his eyes at him. “Are you sure?”  


“Yeah,” he answered. “It can wait until tomorrow. Let me enjoy this perfect moment with my boyfriend, yeah?”  


Danny rolled his eyes but leaned further against him.  


Julian, like for most things in his adult life, asks Tom for advice. Tom who told him to just  _ do it when it feels right, it won’t matter, it’ll still be special _ . It wasn’t any help but then Julian was on his way home from practice and made an impulse stop at a flower shop to pick up a bouquet of roses, the box burning a hole in his pocket. 

He didn’t open the door when he got home, instead rang the doorbell and waited until Danny opened it, shoving the bouquet into Danny’s arms. “I picked these for you,” he said in a rush. He pulled his hand out of his pocket before the other even had time to process the flowers, and thrust the box out too. “I hope you like it.” He cringed as he said it.  


“What…” Danny trailed off, eyes wide as he stared at the box.  


“I mean…” Julian took a deep breath, heart racing, kneeling down onto one knee and opening the box in Danny’s lax hand. “Will you marry me?”  


Danny blinked down at the ring. “Is this why you were taking me out places the past week?” he asked.  


“Yes?” Julian answered nervously. He got hauled off his knee and into the house before Danny was kissing him. “Is that a yes?”  


“Fucking yes,” Danny answered, pushing the box into Julian’s hands. “Now put the ring on me.”  


Julian laughed, almost overwhelmed, as he put the ring on Danny’s finger. “You like it?”  


“I love it.” Danny smiled at him, eyes crinkling at the corners.  


“I love  __ you ,” Julian said, pushing him into the house and kissing him, kicking the door shut.  


**Author's Note:**

> Writing is hard.


End file.
